Cutting.

I know this is going to sound like I'm preaching. And even though I'm not a cutter. I want to get on the soap box about what i have seen about cutting and the very very negative effects it has. Though I have done research on this and do remember most of what I have read. Do not pass judgement on me just because 'I don't know what it's like to want to do it' or 'I don't know what your going through'. Truth is I probably have been through what you are going through. And that is why I want to help. I have quite a few people that I know that either are cutters or were cutters. I know it eases the pain for a short time. But in the end you can seriously hurt yourself by cutting and those that love you as well. I know most of you wont take the time to read all of this but I hope you will. And will take into consideration what is said in this blog. Some of the people that choose to cut to ease the pain are those of the LBGT [lesbian,bi,gay,transgender] community. I know it can be hard coming out to family and friends. God knows it was hard for me. But what helps instead of actually cutting is writing. I chose to write instead of doing anything that i would regret. That is when I became a published poet. It helped me tremendously. But anyways starting to stray from the topic. Most find it a way to cope with their aggression, depression, frustration, and the pain they feel. But it's not the healthiest way to cope. I know it may be hard to change your mindset. I want to point out the facts/myths in this post. As well as the symptoms to look for when you think someone is cutting but aren't sure of it. But instead of cutting find something positive to do in place of something negative.
Here are some myths/facts I found when researching to keep my facts straight:
Myth: People who cut and self-injure are trying to get attention.
Fact: The painful truth is that people who self-harm generally do so in secret. They aren’t trying to manipulate others or draw attention to themselves. In fact, shame and fear can make it very difficult to come forward and ask for help.
Myth: People who self-injure are crazy and/or dangerous.
Fact: It is true that many people who self-harm suffer from anxiety, depression, or a previous trauma—just like millions of others in the general population. Self-injury is how they cope. Slapping them with a “crazy” or “dangerous” label isn’t accurate or helpful.
Myth: People who self-injure want to die.
Fact: Self-injurers usually do not want to die. When they self-harm, they are not trying to kill themselves—they are trying to cope with their pain. In fact, self-injury may be a way of helping themselves go on living. However, in the long-term, people who self-injure have a much higher risk of suicide, which is why it’s so important to seek help.
Myth: If the wounds aren’t bad, it’s not that serious.
Fact: The severity of a person’s wounds has very little to do with how much he or she may be suffering. Don’t assume that because the wounds or injuries are minor, there’s nothing to worry about.
Some of the signs you can look for:
1. seeing them scratch at themselves till they bleed
2. covering up their arms or area they choose to cut
3. unexplained appearances of wounds or scars usually on the wrists,arms,thighs, or chest
4. blood stains on bedding, clothes, or towels.
5. sharp objects or instruments: such as razors, knives, needles, bottle caps, glass shards
6. frequent clumsy episodes
7. needing to be alone for long periods of time in the bedroom or bathroom
8. they isolate themselves and get angry easily
Here is some things you cutters may tell yourself:

• “It expresses emotional pain or feelings that I’m unable to put into words. It puts a punctuation mark on what I’m feeling on the inside!”
• “It’s a way to have control over my body because I can’t control anything else in my life.”
• “I usually feel like I have a black hole in the pit of my stomach, at least if I feel pain it’s better than feeling nothing.”
• “I feel relieved and less anxious after I cut. The emotional pain slowly slips away into the physical pain.” 

 I know most of what cutters claim it does isn't true. Most of the people I know that are cutters have told me it isn't worth it. I ask them why they still do it and those 3 quotes above are always what i get in response. Not always in the same words but pretty damn close.

Another thing I found that makes me understand why some choose not to stop cutting but what helps most stop cutting are as followed:

• Although self-harm and cutting can give you temporary relief, it comes at a cost. In the long term, it causes far more problems than it solves.
• The relief is short lived, and is quickly followed by other feelings like shame and guilt. Meanwhile, it keeps you from learning more effective strategies for feeling better.
• Keeping the secret from friends and family members is difficult and lonely.
• You can hurt yourself badly, even if you don’t mean to. It’s easy to misjudge the depth of a cut or end up with an infected wound.
• If you don’t learn other ways to deal with emotional pain, it puts you at risk for bigger problems down the line, including major depression, drug and alcohol addiction, and suicide.
• Self-harm can become addictive. It may start off as an impulse or something you do to feel more in control, but soon it feels like the cutting or self-harming is controlling you. It often turns into a compulsive behavior that seems impossible to stop.
• bottom line is that cutting doesn't help with the issue it just makes you want to hurt yourself in the first place.

Here are some things to do if you do cut and want to quit.!

If you cut to express pain and intense emotions:

• Paint, draw, or scribble on a big piece of paper with red ink or paint
• Express your feelings in a journal
• Compose a poem or song to say what you feel
• Write down any negative feelings and then rip the paper up
• Listen to music that expresses what you’re feeling

If you cut to calm and soothe yourself:

• Take a bath or hot shower
• Pet or cuddle with a dog or cat
• Wrap yourself in a warm blanket
• Massage your neck, hands, and feet
• Listen to calming music

If you cut because you feel disconnected and numb:

• Call a friend (you don’t have to talk about self-harm)
• Take a cold shower
• Hold an ice cube in the crook of your arm or leg
• Chew something with a very strong taste, like chili peppers, peppermint, or a grapefruit peel.
• Go online to a self-help website, chat room, or message board

If you cut to release tension or vent anger:

• Exercise vigorously—run, dance, jump rope, or hit a punching bag
• Punch a cushion or mattress or scream into your pillow
• Squeeze a stress ball or squish Play-Doh or clay
• Rip something up (sheets of paper, a magazine)
• Make some noise (play an instrument, bang on pots and pans)

 Helping a friend or family member who cuts or self-injures: Perhaps you’ve noticed suspicious injuries on someone close to you, or that person has confided to you that he or she is cutting. Whatever the case may be, you may be feeling unsure of yourself. What should you say? How can you help?

• Deal with your own feelings. You may feel shocked, confused, or even disgusted by self-harming behaviors—and guilty about admitting these feelings. Acknowledging your feelings is an important first step toward helping your loved one.
• Learn about the problem. The best way to overcome any discomfort or distaste you feel about self-harm is by learning about it. Understanding why your friend or family member is self-injuring can help you see the world from his or her eyes.
• Don’t judge. Avoid judgmental comments and criticism—they’ll only make things worse. The first two tips will go a long way in helping you with this. Remember, the self-harming person already feels ashamed and alone.
• Offer support, not ultimatums. It’s only natural to want to help, but threats, punishments, and ultimatums are counterproductive. Express your concern and let the person know that you’re available whenever he or she wants to talk or needs support.
• Encourage communication. Encourage your loved one to express whatever he or she is feeling, even if it’s something you might be uncomfortable with. If the person hasn’t told you about the self-harm, bring up the subject in a caring, non-confrontational way: “I’ve noticed injuries on your body, and I want to understand what you’re going through.” 

If your a cutter here are some things you can try to do:

• Tell somebody - a sibling, a friend, a parent or relative, anyone you can talk to. Overcoming your shame and admitting your problem is often the hardest part of getting help. 
• Identify what triggers your cutting behavior. This can be difficult to do on your own. You'll probably need a mental health counselor to help you. 
• Ask for help. Go to your parents, a medical professional, a school counselor, or any adult you trust and tell them you want to stop cutting. If the person you approach downplays your cutting, go ask another adult for help. 
• Stay with it. Breaking your cutting habit will not be easy. But with treatment, teens who cut themselves can and do successfully learn more healthy way to deal with stress ands negative emotions.

Thank you for taking your time to read this.,
Toxxic Lullaby